CANADA (8 Provinces)
All of this because of a toxic grandmother hate that blew apart a family and damaged it to the point that it will take several generations for the scars to disappear. I am a 20 year old girl,living with my grand parents. My father was passed away since i was 2. And my mom is a nun. My aunt lives alone. I want to move in with her. She is an adult atleast she can understand what i wanna do. I can go out only on my uni time and come back home. No chills,no privacy. They said it is for my life. I know oldies but take me to breathe for a second.
I will finish my degree in my 21 and planning to live alone. And enjoy my life freely. I was depressed,all of my time was spent for them. They are toxic for me. Sorry for my english.
Estranged grandparents help!!
U can give me some suggestions how to move out alone. I have been experiencing my daughter distancing me from my granddaughters.
She would beg to differ. We have returned to a state of arguing over many petty topics and it seems to me that my granddaughters have been put in the middle some what. I know they love me and just want the arguments to stop. I try really hard not to engage in them around the girls. Lots of times I just distance myself by staying away for awhile. Ever since the last disagreement the kids themselves are distant and seem like they are trying to please mom and dad by saying no to my many invites for over night stays and outings.
This is really sad and I hope I am wrong about my thoughts. Christine 3 years ago. I have been divorcing an abusive attorney since The parents are sick narcassists and race has been an issue. In other words, the grandfather in particular would only talk to one child who looks white and not the other child. They are from Birmingham Alabama and live in Southern California. The ex was estranged because no matter what you did these grandparents would not shut up about how my kids should have been raised. I said no and do you know what they did — they asked my mother to take the kids to them!!!
The grandfather is an arrogant former Colonel in the Air Force who is used to giving orders and expects everyone to do what he said. He was fired from a government job because he screwed up on the job and of course blamed everyone else. The joke is on them.
My ex hated his parents and only want their money. He is going to drain all of their money and they are so blinded by hate that it will be too late.
He has a brother who is in North Carolina and is a racist. The emails he sent to my ex was sent to me to read. He is in North Carolina and my ex always called him a spoil brat and dumb. My ex is going to dump his parents at a VA hospital and let them die there. It is the abuse of our kids and the embarrassment that they have parents and a dad like that. Best thing you can do is to protect your family. They are going to drive themselves crazy all by themselves. They are out to discredit and destroy you and pay everyone to spy on you and harass you. They are willing to spend every dime to prove it.
The grandfather is an only child. I respected his mother because she called me a nigger to my face and we actually talked about that. She said that she liked me better than her snotty daughter in law. I liked her too for being honest and at least having the courage to talk — considering we brought her first grandchild to Birmingham to see them. Let me start by giving you an overview on my situation. I have a child with a man who currently does not have much to do with his child and I am honestly okay with that.
However, his mother has voluntarily picked up the slack and for many years it has been a joy having her around. She has taken my child on like she was her very own, and I appreciated the help I was receiving. We naturally became excellent freinds up until recently.
My daughter is now 9. At the age of 1 her grandmother suggested she should be baptized in a catholic church and I thought that may be a great idea at the time due to her father wanting is as well. When my child turned 8 the grandmother decided she should participate in classes to do her first communion which takes two years to complete.
Estranged: Coping Strategies for (Grand)Parents
However, now my daughter is about to graduate this class and is now totally against the practice. She no longer wants to complete the classes she does not want to give her first communion. I believe in freedom of religion so I supported her feelings. I then told her grandmother, because they were eager to see this happen and my child no longer wants to participate and she the grandmother says what are you putting in her head. The truth is I nor my immediate family are putting anything into her head. We just support her. Well her grandmother goes on to threaten me as her mother to saying she had some dream that I think is bogus.
Grandparents who are Denied Access to Grandchildren
She emphasized on how greatly I will pay and suffer. She started the conversation off as something told her to her finally saying she woke up and told Jesus her mother being me is behind this and she will pay greatly she further suggest she will put voodoo or a hex on me. Furthermore, she says dont blame her when it happens whatever that may be. FYI Im currently in the hospital do to pregnancy complications and the grandmother knows this.
What should I do about this? Im afraid over the years I have given this grandparent too much authority over my child. I hate to file a police report but the threats appeared real. Took me by surprise. I would be interested to know what your thoughts are on extremely toxic grandparents and young children. In short, my husband and I both have terrible relationships with his parents. They are constantly criticizing and demeaning, think they should be able to control his decisions and are offended by any and all personal boundaries and decisions we make, and will employ absolute silent treatments, tantrums, and arguments to try and get their way.
We were living with them when my son was born bad but have left since then. His father would actually completely ignore the baby if I was holding him, as he is still angry at me for daring to defend my hubby at one point before the baby was even born!! While we will not visit them at their house at this point because of these behaviors, as well as them resuming smoking inside their home, we have extended the invitation to meet us for dinner or come to family events where I feel they will be socially restrained and unlikely to behave the way they do with us behind closed doors , which they refuse to do.
I believe they do not care so much about being a part of our lives or our sons as they do having complete control of the family. They seem to prefer being the miserable victim to accepting boundaries and finding ways to get along. I am at the point where I think the baby is better off not knowing them at all than to know them and then be subjected to the psychological abuse they dish out at every opportunity or worse, having to cut them out later. What are your thoughts on children who are too young to know their grandparents?
Is it better to keep the distance?
When Adult Children are Estranged: Support and Information
We have decided that for now it is probably best to continue to invite them to large gatherings where the behavior is stifled, keep limited contact and not engage them in any of the arguments they continuously try to drudge up, and limit any other contact that has the potential to allow them freedom to verbally attack us. My father is infamous for his silent treatments of x-friends people that are considered friends but my father has ruined those relationships via silent treatments , coworkers, children, siblings, nieces, nephews, etc.
These silent treatments go on for an indefinite time or until he decides when to stop them. OR it ended when he would get an apology, when after waiting for years. This literally just happened with a cousin of mine, sadly over something so minor. He answered the phone once and refused to see his grandchildren, not stating why he refused to see them, and I apologized then. His silent treatment has been over 3 months may I just point out that my youngest just turned 1 and I am 4 months post cancer treatments and there is no telling when he will choose to end it. Loopey 4 years ago. Silent treatment since June, horrible treatment before that while I was going through cancer treatment.
They must control situations, families, everything at whatever cost. Rarely if ever will they apologize or take responsibility for their actions.
- Parental Alienation!
- Dynamic Surface Control of Uncertain Nonlinear Systems: An LMI Approach (Communications and Control Engineering).
- A Fathers Journey?
I am more peaceful, not crying all the time from the verbal abuse, etc. Our family life is more peaceful too, since I am not bringing all that BS into my home. It always starts out fine, but soon after the interactions start the toxicity is brought right back in.
My cancer treatment ended in May, and all this time I have heard nothing from the person, even though I am having and have had complications the entire way through. Life is too short to be around these types of people.