Quit waiting for someone to come along and make your life worth living; you make your life worth living. Embrace the amazing friendships and opportunities single life allows for. This is not a punishment, but rather a gift. You have no obligations and no one to be accountable to. Go out and do all the things you always wished you could do because you have no one tying you down or making you feel guilty. When you are happy you radiate positive energy. People catch on to this and will be drawn to you. This is how a healthy relationship will thrive. No one is going to be attracted to a miserable, depressed person.
You have your own value and it does not need to be validated by another person. You create your own worth, not someone else. Sure a relationship may add to your personal happiness, but it is you who gets you there. You have to take care of yourself first before taking care of others.
Anything other than this is just a recipe for disaster for both you and your partner. If you have yet to achieve personal fulfillment within yourself, how do you expect to help someone else accomplish his or her happiness? By Ashley Fern. It strives to break you down and leave you in rubble, and there's nothing a partner -- even a great one -- can do about it.
Most people depend on others to gain happiness, but the truth is, it always comes from within. He was 78 years old. He'd spent 37 years in Louisiana State Penitentiary for a crime he didn't commit. He was ultimately [released for good behavior halfway through his sentence. This guy's not saying, "There were some nice guys. They had a gym. Harry S. Langerman uttered these words. He's somebody you might have known but didn't, because in , he read a little article in the paper about a hamburger stand owned by these two brothers named McDonald. And he thought, "That's a really neat idea!
They said, "We can give you a franchise on this for 3, bucks.
Of course, six months later, Ray Kroc had exactly the same idea. It turns out, people do eat hamburgers, and Ray Kroc, for a while, became the richest man in America. And then, finally, some of you recognize this young photo of Pete Best, who was the original drummer for the Beatles, until they, you know, sent him out on an errand and snuck away and picked up Ringo on a tour.
Well, in , when Pete Best was interviewed — yes, he's still a drummer; yes, he's a studio musician — he had this to say: "I'm happier than I would have been with the Beatles. OK, there's something important to be learned from these people, and it is the secret of happiness.
You enjoy the lifestyle you've created
Here it is, finally to be revealed. First: accrue wealth, power and prestige, then lose it. Third: make somebody else really, really rich. And finally: never, ever join the Beatles.
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Laughter Yeah, right. Because when people synthesize happiness, as these gentlemen seem to have done, we all smile at them, but we kind of roll our eyes and say, "Yeah, right, you never really wanted the job. What are these terms? Natural happiness is what we get when we get what we wanted, and synthetic happiness is what we make when we don't get what we wanted. And in our society, we have a strong belief that synthetic happiness is of an inferior kind.
Why do we have that belief? Well, it's very simple. What kind of economic engine would keep churning if we believed that not getting what we want could make us just as happy as getting it? With all apologies to my friend Matthieu Ricard, a shopping mall full of Zen monks is not going to be particularly profitable, because they don't want stuff enough. I want to suggest to you that synthetic happiness is every bit as real and enduring as the kind of happiness you stumble upon when you get exactly what you were aiming for.
Now, I'm a scientist, so I'm going to do this not with rhetoric, but by marinating you in a little bit of data. Let me first show you an experimental paradigm that's used to demonstrate the synthesis of happiness among regular old folks. This isn't mine, it's a year-old paradigm called the "free choice paradigm. You bring in, say, six objects, and you ask a subject to rank them from the most to the least liked. In this case, because this experiment uses them, these are Monet prints. Everybody ranks these Monet prints from the one they like the most to the one they like the least. Now we give you a choice: "We happen to have some extra prints in the closet.
We're going to give you one as your prize to take home. We happen to have number three and number four," we tell the subject. This is a bit of a difficult choice, because neither one is preferred strongly to the other, but naturally, people tend to pick number three, because they liked it a little better than number four.
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Sometime later — it could be 15 minutes, it could be 15 days — the same stimuli are put before the subject, and the subject is asked to re-rank the stimuli. Watch as happiness is synthesized.
This is the result that's been replicated over and over again. You're watching happiness be synthesized. Would you like to see it again?
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That other one I didn't get sucks! Now, what's the right response to that?
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We did this experiment with a group of patients who had anterograde amnesia. These are hospitalized patients. Most of them have Korsakoff syndrome, a polyneuritic psychosis. They drank way too much, and they can't make new memories. They remember their childhood, but if you walk in and introduce yourself and then leave the room, when you come back, they don't know who you are.
We took our Monet prints to the hospital. And we asked these patients to rank them from the one they liked the most to the one they liked the least. We then gave them the choice between number three and number four. Like everybody else, they said, "Gee, thanks Doc!